My Diary: On Finding A Giant Apricot In The Hall

Gerald's Rather Strange Diary

I sat in the shrubbery painting tiny targets on my nails and watching the dog try on a dress several sizes too big.‭ ‬June went to town shortly after,‭ ‬closely followed by a family of cannibalistic clocks‭ ‬-‭ ‬luckily she wasn’t wearing a watch.‭ ‬I was even less organised than usual and had a bath walking down the street,‭ ‬Poppy came down behind holding a towel.‭ ‬I was busily playing team games on my palette when June contacted me using rose petals borrowed from Heliogabalus.‭ ‬I followed the scent to town,‭ ‬collecting the entrails of a mechanical yak and the spare wheel from the wreck of the HMS Campleltown and then walked home,‭ ‬looking into every hole in the ground as I did so.‭ ‬However I was still surprised when a pair of empty hands emerged from an overgrown roadside hedge.

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