My Diary: Memories Of Events That Still Haven’t Happened

Gerald's Rather Strange Diary

On finding myself as a Belisha beacon at the start of the day I waited until the traffic had gone and it was safe to cross the road.‭ ‬I met my sister on a golden bough‭ (‬she had just got off an ivy stem with her five legged friend‭) ‬and we drove to town in tandem wheel barrows‭ ‬-‭ ‬I pointed out the smoke from a distant chimney and she showed me a picture of a chimpanzee on her wristwatch.‭ ‬I met June moonlighting as a lamp post and then met my father who was in the process of making a pet out of his beard:‭ ‬he said that some beards will bite and then fed a biscuit to the wild animal on the top of his head.‭ ‬We went for a meal in the upper atmosphere of what I assumed was the Earth but it could have been a…

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